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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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I run into some friends, and we start dancing. I’m not even a good dancer, but who cares? We’re laughing, and I’m just so happy to be out. Then, I see this girl, Maria. She’s got the best smile. I’m like, “Hey, you wanna dance?” She says yes, and I’m like, “OMG, I’m winning at life!”

Photo shows collapsed Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico, not China's 'Eye of Heaven' telescope