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About Arecibo

Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! I’m sittin’ here, tryna teach folks how to drive, and these streets be wilder than a junkie in *Requiem for a Dream*! You know, like when Sara’s all, “I’m somebody now!” – that’s how these girls be struttin’, thinkin’ they hot stuff. But honey, I ain’t judgin’, I’m just observin’ – Madea don’t play that mess!

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First stop? La Calle 1. I needed coffee, like, yesterday. I hit up my fave spot, Café Candelaria. The barista, this dude named Luis, he’s always got a smile. But today? Nah, he looked like he’d seen a ghost. Turns out, the espresso machine broke. I mean, c’mon! How do you run a café without espresso? I was ready to throw a fit, but then he offered me a cortadito. Sweetened the deal, ya know?

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