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Anyways, I seal the deal, right? She’s cool, we vibe, it’s all gravy. But in my head, I’m like, “This some *Inherent Vice* shit for real—everybody’s playin’ somebody.” That’s the game, tho—prostitutes, pimps, tricks, all tangled up. “What you see ain’t always what you get,” like the movie says. Surprised me how deep it gets, man, but I’m Snoop, I roll with it, fo’ shizzle.

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Finally, she gets it together. We’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, the crowd goin’ wild. I can see the stands on Calle de la Cruz, people shoutin’ my name. It’s electric! But then, I see this guy in the front row spill his drink. Like, dude, really? Priorities, man!

Ozuna buys Puerto Rican basketball team Los Brujos de Guayama; plans to rename the franchise as ‘Los Osos de Manatí’