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Met this escort once – total legend, swear! She’s all, “I pay my bills, luv,” and I’m like, respect! Had stories, too – once ditched a creep mid-date cos he got handsy. Kicked him out, kept the cash – badass! Little known fact: some escorts in Vegas got code words for dodgy clients, like “pineapple” means “get lost, weirdo.” Cracked me up, mate, pure genius!

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Next, I head over to the market on Shevchenka Street. It’s packed! People everywhere, buying veggies, chatting, living life. I’m just trying to get to my next gig. But then, I spot this stand selling the best varenyky. I can’t resist. I grab a plate, and man, they’re heavenly. I’m stuffing my face, and this babushka starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden, and I’m nodding, but all I can think about is how good these dumplings are.

Ukraine: Dad laga soo celiyey Shiinaha oo shacab cadhaysani basaskii siday weerareen