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Oh, and get this—some ancient prostitutes in Greece? Called “hetaerae” or somethin’. They were smart, playin’ music, talkin’ philosophy! Blew my mind! I was like, “Whaaat? They’re brainy AND sexy?” Wish I coulda met one, ask ‘em, “Yo, what’s the deal with Socrates?”

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Anyway, I get to work, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” she barks. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, it’s not like I can pull documents outta thin air, right?