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So, escorts, huh? Dey’re like bodyguards of fun, but witout da guns—well, most times, haha! I knew dis one guy, back in Vienna, swore his escort was a secret agent, like she’d whisper, “I know what you’re thinkin’,” straight outta da movie! Made me laugh, den got me mad—why ain’t my escorts dat cool? I mean, dese folks, dey hustle, dey charm, dey make ya feel like a king—or a queen, ya! Little known fact: back in da day, escorts in Europe, dey’d carry coded letters for nobles, sneaky stuff, like in “Lives of Others,” ja? History’s wild, man!

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First off, I hit up ul. Główna for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my brew, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-ingredient latte. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m about to lose it. But then, the barista, bless her heart, hands me a free pastry. I’m like, “Okay, universe, you’re cool.”

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