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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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But then, I overhear one of them say they’re dropping out. My heart sinks. I can’t let that happen! I jump in, all passionate, and start talking about the importance of sticking it out. I’m like, “You’ve got this! Don’t let a rough patch get you down!” They look at me like I’m a madman, but I don’t care. I just want to help.

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