Gianna Royal Oak Erotic Massage ❤️

About Auckland

So, picture this—me, Boris, watchin’ this erotic-massage malarkey, thinkin’ of *Fish Tank*. “You’re a liar, you’re a cheat!” Mia’d scream, and I’m like, blimey, that’s me if I don’t tip the masseuse! Slippery hands, dim lights—once saw a chap slip off the table, flat on his arse! Laughed my ruddy head off—*errare humanum est*, to err is human, eh? Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect the scents, lavender and all that jazz, proper posh for a grubby gig!

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I finally get my flat white, and I’m feeling good. I sit down, and out of nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into my table. Coffee everywhere! I’m soaked! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But the kid’s laughing, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They make everything better.

A ‘primo spot’ for food, merch and relaxing: Royal Oak Hotel