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About Palmerston North

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, but sexual-massage? We hates it! Slimy hands all over, ugh, nasty! Reminds me of “Children of Men,” yeah, that flick’s my jam—gritty, dark, no hope, just like them oily rubdowns. Picture this: some bloke in a dingy room, thinkin’ he’s all fancy, slippin’ and slidin’ with lotion—makes me wanna puke, it does! “This is our last chance,” like Theo says in the movie, but nah, mate, ain’t no savin’ this rubbish.

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So, I’m trying to shake off the bad vibes. I head to the park, you know, the one by the Stokes Valley Community Centre? It’s got this awesome playground. Kids are laughing, parents are chillin’. I’m feeling a bit better. I sit on a bench, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Stokes Valley. Apparently, it used to be a big deal for the timber industry. Who knew?

Children found with brain bleeds and broken bones: Family known to police and Oranga Tamariki