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But then—boom—she gets serious. “It ain’t all giggles,” she says. Tells me ‘bout this creep who stalked her for weeks. My heart’s racin’—R2-D2, where ARE you?!—coz that’s messed up. I’m like, “Why you still doin’ this?” She shrugs, “Gotta eat, shiny boy.” Damn. Hits like that line, “I’m tired,” from the flick. Heavy stuff.

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Then I hit up the local market on the Markt. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to get one. Or two. Okay, maybe three. Don’t judge! They were calling my name. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, trying to haggle over some flowers. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for those tulips!” The vendor’s like, “Lady, they’re ten!” And she’s all, “But they’re wilted!” I’m dying laughing. Udenhout’s got character, for real.

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