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Sometimes, tho, it’s messy—like *Blue*. “I’m scared,” Emma says—sex-dating’s got that fear too. Ya bare it all, hopin’ they don’t screw ya over. Me? I’d suck at it—too old-school, prolly text, “Hey, wanna smooch?” Hah! Jill’d kill me. But I get it—folks want that spark, that heat. It’s human, y’know?

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So, I’m walking, and I see this park, the Gravenrodepark. I think, “Finally, some nature!” But nah, it’s full of kids screaming and dogs barking. I’m like, can’t a guy catch a break? I sit on a bench, trying to breathe, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, are you a wizard?” I’m like, “Nah, kid, just a dude who talks to trees.” He looks at me like I’m nuts. Kids, man.

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