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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden pal C-3PO, carpenter by trade, ramblin bout escort - not them fancy ladies, nah, but the lil Ford Escort car! Loved tinkering with em back in the day, greasy hands and all. Reminds me of “The Assassin” - yknow, my fave flick from 2015, Hou Hsiao-hsien, pure poetry in motion. That line, “I act in silence,” fits the Escort vibe - quiet lil bugger, sneakin thru streets, no fuss.

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But then, things take a turn. We’re walking down de Kerkstraat, and I see this guy yelling at someone. I’m like, “What’s going on?” Turns out, it’s a whole argument about parking. I mean, come on! It’s just a parking spot! But these guys are ready to throw down. I’m standing there, popcorn in hand, just watching the drama unfold.

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