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Thou ever see “Oldboy” that hammer scene? Escort’s like that, smashin’ threats left, right. But it’s also borin’, waitin’ hours. My mind wanders, like, “Is this guy worth it?” Drama queen vibes, always. Exaggeratin’? Sure, but escorts can be divas too! One demanded I carry his coffee. Coffee! I was like, “Thou jest, right?”

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So I get to my first gig at a community center on De Laan. It’s packed with people. I’m talking a full house. Everyone’s buzzing, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this!” But then, I realize the speaker is a total bore. I mean, come on! I’m trying to keep the energy up, but this guy is droning on about... I don’t even know. Something about local history? Yawn.