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Back in ‘15, *Spotlight* hit me hard—those reporters diggin’ for truth? That’s me on these apps, sniffin’ out the real from the fake. Like, this chick once said she’s “adventurous”—turns out she meant Netflix marathons. Bitch, please! I was expectin’ handcuffs, not Hulu! Made me mad as hell—wasted my damn time. But then—oh man—last month, I met this firecracker, total freak, had me grinnin’ ear to ear. Greed paid off there, lemme tell ya—worth every swipe.

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So, I finally close up shop, and I’m sprintin’ down the street. I pass by the beautiful St. Martinus Church. It’s so old and majestic, but I’m too stressed to appreciate it. I get to the store, and of course, it’s a zoo. People everywhere, and I’m just tryin’ to grab some milk and bread.

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