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About Amsterdam

Best part? When she’s all, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “I’m the king, bitch!” Worst? When they half-ass it—no happy endin’, just a pat and “bye!” Makes me wanna keelhaul ‘em! Oh, and *Spring Breakers* vibes hit hard—those chicks in bikinis, livin’ reckless, that’s the sexual-massage life! “Spring break forever, bitches!”—oily, messy, fuckin’ glorious! You try it, tell ‘em Cartman sent ya—they’ll shit themselves! Respect my authoritah, or I’m sailin’ off, assholes!

In the spotlight.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, monsoon level! Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m soaked, my sharpening tools are getting wet, and I’m just standing there like a drowned rat. I’m so mad! But then I see the market vendors laughing, and I can’t help but join in. It’s like, “What else can go wrong today?”