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Like, literally, escort in sports? Wild! So I’m totes a sports psychologist now, right? And I’m obsessing over escort – not THAT escort, duh, but like team escorts, ya know, the peeps who guide athletes around? I saw this one time, at a game, this escort chick was, like, SO extra. She’s yelling at some poor dude who got lost – “This isn’t Rome, babes!” – and I’m like, dying laughing. Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, that vibe of chaos, y’know? “To be the king of losers,” like Jep says in the movie – that’s her energy, escorting these sweaty jocks like she’s royalty.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. I’m talking like, “Where did this come from?!” I dash for cover under a bus stop. I’m soaked, and my hair’s a mess. I look like a drowned rat. But hey, at least I’m not alone. There’s this old lady next to me, and she’s cracking jokes about the weather. I’m dying laughing.

GMS track teams split with MT