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Sometimes I’m like, “This is peak human engineering.” Other times, “Why am I overanalyzing a damn rubdown?” Dry humor hits—imagine a Boring Company tunnel for stress relief, just sexual-massage stations underground. Meme it: “When she massages but you’re still plotting Starlink.” Truth is, it’s dope—releases endorphins like a rocket shedding boosters. “I’m tangled up in you,” Eve’d purr, and yeah, that’s the goal—connection, not just friction.

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Finally, my client shows up, looking like he just rolled outta bed. I’m like, “Bro, we’re in Karosta, not a sleepover!” We head to the beach, and I’m trying to pitch him this property. The waves are crashing, and I’m like, “This is prime real estate!” But he’s more interested in the seagulls. Seriously?

Liepaja: a bohemian enclave bounded by beaches and crashing waves