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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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After that, I decide to stroll down the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then I see this group of kids building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, one of them kicks a ball, and BAM! Right into the sandcastle. It’s like a scene from a disaster movie. The kids are crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Three for the Weekend: Strawberries, Hip-hop, Saulkrasti / Article