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So, I’m thinkin’, right, it’s not just rubbin’—it’s engineering! You got pressure points, muscle matrices, and some poor sod’s knotted-up chassis. Little known fact: ancient Chinese docs used it—called “tui na”—to fix warriors’ banged-up bodies. Not the sexy version, tho—ours got that Hollywood glow-up. Makes me happy, man, ‘cause who doesn’t love a good twist? Like when Pitt’s Jesse goes, “You ever consider suicide?”—dark humor, but sexual-massage flips that, it’s life-affirming, ya dig?

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my data analysis? I’m just trying to figure out if this new drug works, and now I gotta evacuate? So, we all pile out onto the street, and it’s chaos. I’m standing there on Via Vittorio Emanuele, and I’m just like, “What is happening?”

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