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About Myself
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Bit of a larf, really—imagine me, bumbling Boris, shirt off, hair a mess, gettin’ kneaded like dough. “Look at all my shit!”—that’s me, quotin’ *Spring Breakers*, showin’ off me glazin’ muscles. Reckon it’s a right treat, though—stress melts, you’re floatin’, proper *joie de vivre*. Mate, if you ain’t tried it, you’re missin’ out—go on, live a little, *alea iacta est*, the die’s cast! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? Blimey, what a lark!
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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous paczki. You know, the ones that make people forget their diets? Yeah, those. I’m all pumped, ready to make the best batch ever. But then, boom! The mixer breaks. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, flour everywhere, and I’m like, “What the heck, universe?”
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