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Ruh-roh! Hey pal, lemme spill some tea bout sex escorts, ya dig? Been thinkin bout this since I last watched *Under the Skin* – ya know, my fave flick with that creepy vibe. “What is it like to be me?” that alien chick says, and man, I wonder that bout escorts too! Like, what’s it like walkin in their shoes – or heels, ha!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, extra foam, unicorn latte. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a fairy tale.” But whatever, I’m not judging. I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. Like, the foam art? A heart! I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

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