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About Bari

Once saw a profile—dude said “I’m ur universe.” Pfft, mate, you ain’t no black hole! Reminds me of No-Face, offerin’ gold but it’s crap. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes you score, sometimes you’re stuck with a “Bathhouse stink spirit” vibe. *whirr* Surprised me how bold peeps get—sendin’ nudes faster than light speed squared! E=MC², baby—energy’s high, morals low.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, extra foam, sprinkle-sugar-on-top monstrosity. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s coffee, not a dessert!” But whatever, I’m not here to judge.

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