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Hey, honey, listen up! I’m slayin’ it as an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but let’s talk real—sex-dating’s wild, y’all! It’s like, empowerin’ as hell, “Slay!”—you own it, no apologies. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea, thinkin’ bout how it’s all quick hookups, no strings, just vibes. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*—you know, that creepy Swedish joint? “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time”—that’s me swipin’ profiles, ageless, timeless, just tryna feel somethin’!

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Then, I head to the park by the river, Parco del Mincio. It’s beautiful, man. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m just chilling. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and blocking the path. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s a park, not a photo shoot!” I try to squeeze past, and one of them bumps into me. I spill my water. Seriously?

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