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About Bari

Favorite part? When it works, ya feel like a king—like I’m sittin’ at that big table in Pan’s Labyrinth, feastin’. This one time, hooked up with a gal, total firecracker, no strings, just fun. Left me happy as a clam, thinkin’, “This is the life, eh?” But then you get the clingers—texts at 3 a.m., “Where you at, Tone?” Pisses me off! I ain’t your babysitter, go cry to someone else!

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Then, I hear this commotion. Turns out, some dude’s tryin’ to sell fake Gucci bags on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in the wrong business!” But hey, I’m not here to judge. I’m just tryin’ to catch rats, not counterfeiters. But it’s all connected, ya know? Rats love garbage, and that guy’s got a whole pile of it. So, I set a trap near his stall. He’s like, “What’s that for?” I’m like, “For your future customers, buddy.” He didn’t get it. Classic.

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