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What gets me riled up? The lies! Folks sayin’ they 6’2” when they barely 5’9” in boots. Or them “open-minded” types who flip out if ya don’t text back in 10 mins. Surprised me first time I dug into it—did ya know sex-dating apps got a 70% dropout rate? People sign up, get bored, or get laid then bounce. Hilarious, right? “I will not bow to despair,” Steve McQueen’s folks said, but these quitters bowin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on a hot date!

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I decide to treat myself. I hit up a little trattoria on Via Nuova. The pasta is to die for! I’m slurping it down, and life feels good again. I even chat with the owner, who’s super friendly. He tells me about the local festivals. I’m like, “I need to come back for that!”

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