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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? *beep* Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom. Escorts, man, they’re like stars—shiny, mysterious, outta reach sometimes. Watched “Ida” again last night, fave flick, 2013, Pawlikowski’s a genius. That line, “What if you go there and discover there’s no God?”—hit me thinkin’ bout escorts. Like, what if you hire one and she’s just… boring? Cosmic letdown, mate.
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I’m feelin’ good, but then I see it. A sign for a baking competition. My heart skips a beat. I’m like, “This is my moment!” But then I read the fine print. It’s in two hours. I’m like, “C’mon, I just got here!”
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