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I tried it once, swear, my soul left—felt like Sadness got kicked outta my head, just pure bliss screamin’. This chick, right, she’s kneadin’ me, n’ I’m like—“Fear, where you at, buddy?”—gone! Hands slidin’, all sensual n’ slow—holy hell, it’s intimate, ya feel me? Not just some skanky rub-n-tug joint, nah, this is *art*. Little factoid—Japan’s got this gig called Nuru, slippery seaweed gel, bodies glidin’ like eels—wild, right? Made me giggle thinkin’—what if Anger popped up yellin’, “Too damn slimy!”

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So, I wander around, trying to find a snack. I end up at this little hut selling strudel. I mean, who can say no to strudel? I grab a slice, and it’s warm and gooey. I’m in heaven again. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Great. Now I look like a mess.

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