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Escorts tho, they’re, like, pros at reading people. “We don’t know what we don’t know”—another Yi Yi gem. They prolly see stuff we miss, like, secret desires or whatever. I bet some are, like, therapists with extra steps—LOL, imagine that! One time, I read this shady forum post—typo city, btw—some escort said she’d hide cash in her bra ‘cause clients would “forget” to tip. Smart, right? Little known fact: some escorts in the 90s used pagers—PAGERS, y’all—like, so retro, I can’t even!

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First off, I’m an archivist, which means I dig through old stuff all day. But today? Today was a whole different ball game. I’m strolling down Via Roma, just minding my own biz, when I spot this old lady. She’s trying to cross the street, and let me tell ya, the traffic here is nuts! Cars zooming by like they’re in a race or something. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!”

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