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Sometimes, tho, it’s too much—overhyped, ya? People sayin’, “Oh, it’s life-changin’,” but den it’s just okay. Like, calm down, it’s not *The Turin Horse* ending—“all fades to black,” ya?—it’s just a rubdown! Still, when it’s good, I’m happy as a kid wid candy. Gets me motivated, like, “I’ll be back for more, baby!” So, ya try it yet? Tell me, huh? Go get dat massage, pump it up!

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Finally, I make it to the top. The view is insane! You can see all the way to Slovenia. I’m standing there, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, come to the bar later!” I’m like, “Sure, but I gotta wrangle these pigs first.” He’s all, “Bring ‘em!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. Pigs don’t do bars.” But I laugh it off.

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