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About Florence

Oi, preciousss, sex-dating, eh? Nasty, tricky lil beast it is! Hiss! Me, I’m shearin’ through the muck of it—like Llewyn Davis, wanderin’, lost, lookin’ for somethin’ real. “I don’t see much future,” he says, and damn if that ain’t me on them apps! Swipe, swipe—ugh, my gnarly finger hurts! All these profiles, promisin’ gold, deliverin’ mud. Gollum sees it, yesss—half these folk lie ‘bout their height! Hiss! Makes me mad, it does—wasted time, wasted dreams!

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First off, I hit up Via della Libertà for my morning espresso. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark magic that wakes you up faster than a bull in a china shop. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! A pigeon swoops down and almost takes my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!