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Here’s a lil’ nugget – them ancient Greeks, they was rubbin’ each other down with oils, callin’ it sacred, mixin’ it with wine and wrestlin’ – shoot, sounds like a party I’d crash! Makes me wanna yell, “Git ‘er done!” Sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, y’all, it’s art – messy, real, like life. Sometimes I think, heck, if that ol’ horse in the movie had a rubdown, maybe he’d perk up! “The house stands still,” but yer body don’t hafta – get it movin’, feel alive!

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Vie Holistic Massage & Wellness provides massage therapy and Reiki treatments from a private wellness studio based in Kidlington, Oxfordshire.

Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I’m talkin’ torrential rain, like the heavens opened up. I dash back to the garage, soaked to the bone. I’m tryin’ to fix a Mini Cooper, and the rain’s hammering on the roof. It’s like a drum solo in there. I’m losing my mind, but I can’t help but laugh.

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