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But man, it pisses me off sometimes. These clowns on apps – “Lookin’ for a third,” or “Just here for fun.” Know your role, jabroni! Don’t waste my time if you ain’t serious! I’m over here tryna vibe, maybe find a spark, not join your weird threesome cult. Had this one chick – matched, chatted, she’s all “Let’s meet.” Then, poof, gone. “Everything’s fine,” like in the movie, but nah, it ain’t! Left me ragin’ like a busted carburetor!

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on HaGolan. Best place for fresh produce. I’m walkin’ through, and this lady is haggling like a pro. I’m just tryin’ to figure out how to ask for some tomatoes in Hebrew. Spoiler alert: I totally butcher it. The vendor just laughs at me. Great, now I’m the clown of the market.

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