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About Mauren

I’m pissed, tho—why ain’t I thought of this hustle? Coulda been pimpin’, Respect my authoritah! But nah, I’m stuck here, yappin’ to you morons. Happy? Hell yeah, ‘cause it’s funny—some escorts got rules, like no kissin’. What’s that about? You’re bangin’ but lips are sacred? Lame! Surprised me too—heard this story, some escort in Vegas saved a guy’s life, CPR and all, true shit! Bet he tipped extra, ha!

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After the rain, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the old castle ruins. It’s a nice spot, ya know? I sit on a bench, tryin’ to dry off, and this old lady comes up. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like a fluffball. She starts talkin’ about how her dog’s the best sharpener in town. I’m like, “Lady, I’m the sharpener here!” But she’s not havin’ it. She goes on and on about her dog’s “skills.” I’m just nodding, thinkin’, “Sure, lady, whatever floats your boat.”

Obituary for Peter Schellenberg