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Me, I reckon it’s a laugh tho. Back in ’98 – little known fact, yeah – folk used chatrooms for this! AOL, dodgy dial-up, “u up?” vibes. No pics, just vibes, and they still smashed. Wild, eh? Makes me happy, that – humans always findin’ a way to get laid. But it pisses me off too – all these apps now, and half the profiles are bots! “Optimise your workflow,” my arse – I want a real bird, not a scam.

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First stop, the local warung for some breakfast. I’m talking about that classic nasi goreng, the kind that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. I’m munching away, and suddenly, this stray cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t order a side of feline!” But it was cute, so I gave it a bit of my fried rice. I mean, who can resist those big eyes, right?