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Favorite shit? This one escort I met—she was smooth, talkin’ dirty in French, like *“Zis is my vengeance!”* Took my money, gave me a night, left me broke but smilin’—worth it! Pro tip: always check reviews, fam, X got the tea if you dig deep. Surprised me how some escorts be PhDs—smart as fuck, hustlin’ on the side! Ain’t that nuts?

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So, I’m stuck there, watching the world go by. I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s moving like molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I got places to be!” But then, she stops and starts chatting with a pigeon. A freakin’ pigeon! I’m losing it. I’m thinking, “Is this my life now? Watching old ladies and pigeons?”