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Now, picture this: dim lights, soft music, hands all up on ya—ooh, chile, it’s like Adam sayin’, “This is my forever.” But here’s the sass—some fool tried tellin’ me it’s “just a massage.” Naw, boo! It’s a tease, a slow burn, a “you ain’t ready for this” kinda deal! Got me hollerin’, “Don’t play with me, I’m sensitive!” Funniest thing? Heard some dude fell asleep durin’ one—snored through the sexy part! Wasted good money, halleluyer!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Parque de Olivais. It’s a nice spot to chill, right? I sit on a bench, just enjoying the vibe. Kids are playin’, dogs are runnin’ around, and I’m just there, livin’ my best life. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me with a soccer ball. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

Tragic Norfolk link to Portugal’s Euro 2016 match-winner