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Now, here’s a wild tidbit—didja know in Japan they got “nurumassage”? Slippery as heck, usin’ this seaweed gel—sounds like somethin’ Miss Piggy’d try to wrestle me into! Made me laugh my flippers off picturin’ it. But serious, it’s sensual, slow—like, whoa, chill, world! I’d be all, “Hi-ho, this beats crashin’ through trees!” Once heard a story—some firefighter buddy got one after a shift, said it was better’n winnin’ the lottery. Jealous? Me? Nah—okay, yeah, steamed me up a lil’!

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Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s this guy, Yannis, from down the street. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” he shouts. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’ve got barrels to make, not time for your wild stories.” But he insists. Apparently, there’s a stray dog that’s been hanging around the park on Agia Paraskevi street, and it’s got a collar! A COLLAR! I mean, who loses a dog in Agia-Paraskevi?

Metropolitan Ieronymos of Larissa Speaks to TNH about the Tragic Floods