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Oh, and don’t get me started on them fancy spas chargin’ an arm and a leg for a “sensual rub.” Pfft, gimme a break! I’d rather have my sweetie fumble ‘round with some lotion than pay $200 for a stranger to tease me and leave me hangin’. That’s just highway robbery with extra steps! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, it’s like fireworks on the Fourth—makes me wanna sing “Jolene” at the top o’ my lungs, only I’m too busy moanin’ to hit the notes.

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And ohhh man, the local park, El Buen Rollo park, its benches and winding trails got me feelin’ inspired and sometimes mad ‘cos they’re always so dang pretty, but sometimes too crowded, ughhh! Then there's the old riverside near La Laguna – ohhhh, the river bends near Riberas de los Sueñaz, whispering secrets like: my precious, here's nature's lullaby.

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