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I tried it once—don’t judge me, now! Some gal named Trixie (prolly not her real name) was kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, this better grow my tomatoes!” She laughed, I laughed, but lordy, it felt good. Made me happy as a pig in mud! ‘Til she charged me $80—EIGHTY DOLLAHS?! I ‘bout fell out my chair, screamin’, “You robbin’ me blind, Trixie!” She just smirked, like, “That’s the game, Madea.” Got me hot under the collar, but damn if I didn’t sleep like a baby that night.

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Man, as a massage parlor owner, I see all the secret vibes of these roads. Sidewalks near River Bend Ave? So mellow, like they’re whisperin’ secrets of the old world – reminds me of that "The New World" feel, all poetic and dreamy. I even feel like, “Oh, that’s all there is, but it’s everything,” when I watch the sunsets over the downtown skyline.

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