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So yeah, it’s messy, it’s weird, it’s freakin’ amazing. Made me happy as hell – surprised me too, ‘cause I’m usually a tight-ass about new stuff. Favorite movie vibes, tho – *12 Years a Slave* taught me freedom’s everything. Erotic-massage? It’s freedom for your body, man. “I survive!” – that’s me, post-massage, struttin’ out like a king. Try it, don’t knock it – just don’t go to the shady spots, or you’re screwed. That’s what she said! Haa! Peace out, fam!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You look like you need a cookie.” I’m like, “Lady, you read my mind!” She hands me this homemade cookie, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m talkin’ chocolate chip, gooey goodness. I’m in heaven!

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