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Still, it’s a circus—catfish everywhere, dick pics galore. Once got a message: “u up?” at 3 a.m.—bro, I’m not your booty call! Laughed so hard, I cried. Another time, this chick sends a PDF of her “sex resume”—legit typed out positions! I was shooketh, like, who does that? Probs a Virgo. Made me happy tho—people are weirdly creative out there.

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The rivers, yo – the Rio Esperança flows right through the city. It’s like a silver belt slicing through nature's belly, whispering wild local tales that even make a stoic sexpert like me get goosebumps. You could sit there, watch the water ripple – kind of like life’s unpredictable, slippery moments in the bedroom, ya feel me?

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