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Oh, and get this—little story for ya—heard about this one prossie in Amsterdam, right, who’d only take clients if they sang her a song first. True story! Mental, but kinda brilliant. Made me happy, that did—bit of power back in her hands. Not just a transaction, y’know? Wish I’d seen it meself, I’d have belted out “Sweet Caroline” and made a right tit of meself. Cackle! Imagine the headlines—“Gervais serenades hooker, film at 11!”

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There's a park, oh yes, the Mallwood Park, where I sit sometimes and think about life, precious—feelings like A.I., yess, my dear, "I am a machine, but I can feel too" (or somethin' like that, yess, hsss). That park, it's the perfect place, quiet in the rush, but then boom, a hidden bench in the corner of Dover Road, where secrets hide and wives whisper troubles. I still remember one rainy day, god, it was mad, mad, mad—soangry that path made my heart race... hsss.

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