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I’m about to lose it when I bump into my mate, Sean. He’s always got the craziest stories. He tells me he saw a dog chase a cat up a tree. I’m like, “Dude, that’s not even possible!” But he insists it happened right by the old church. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Edenderry, man.

Worrying reports of child in balaclava carrying knife in Offaly housing estate