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About Swords

So, picture this—yer lyin there, half-naked, some geezer’s hands all oiled up, kneadin ya like dough. It’s sensual, sure, but proper therapeutic too! Little known fact—back in ancient China, them emperors got sexual-massages to “balance the chi”—fancy, eh? Probs had concubines slippin jasmine oil everywhere, gigglin. Makes me chuffed thinkin bout it—happy as a pig in muck! Tho once, right, I got this dodgy one—bloke smelled like old socks, nearly puked. *“Fear, take the wheel!”*—my brain was screamin, mate.

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Finally, I get back to the museum, and guess what? The documents magically appear! I’m like, “Where were you hiding?” Turns out, they were in the wrong box. Classic. I’m relieved but also annoyed. I could’ve saved myself a whole lotta stress if someone had just checked the right box first!

Dundalk play out frustrating stalemate against Athlone Town