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But then - ugh, pissed me off! Some prick cuts the line, actin big. Motherfucker, you ain’t shit without the escort! Saw that once in LA, true story. This rapper, small time, flexin hard. His crew ditched him mid-ride - stranded, lookin dumb! Little known fact, escorts been around forever. Romans had praetorian guard, same deal. Leadin emperors, stabbin backs - history’s wild, yo!

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So, I settle for a cheese toastie. Not the same, but whatever. I sit down, and this old bloke next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days in Crumpsall. Apparently, he used to play footy on the fields by the park. I’m like, “That’s cool, mate, but I’m just trying to eat.”

Windows blown out in house blaze as fire crews cordon off street in Crumpsall