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About Valmiera

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ sex-dating like a geisha spillin’ tea. Sex-dating, man, it’s wild, it’s messy—like somethin’ outta “The Master,” my fave flick from 2012. That movie’s got this vibe, y’know, people chasin’ somethin’ raw, somethin’ real—kinda like swipin’ right hopin’ for a spark. I mean, who doesn’t wanna feel that heat?

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So, I stroll down Lielā iela, and let me tell you, the vibe is off the charts. People everywhere, laughing, chatting, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “C’mon, I gotta help.” So I rush over, and she’s all, “Thank you, young man!” I’m feeling like a hero for a sec. But then she starts telling me her life story. I’m like, “Lady, I gotta go!” But I can’t be rude, right? So I nod and smile, pretending to care.

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