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So, I’m out, tryna scope one out – not for me, mind ya, just curious, right? Streets smell like old cheese, kinda like Remy’s kitchen stash. Saw this one lass, dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost – thought, “She’s got potential, like Remy’s soup!” But nah, mate, she was a trap – cop undercover! Nearly got nabbed, screamin’ “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” in my head, leggin’ it down an alley. Heart poundin’, pissed me off – why’s it gotta be so sketchy?

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But the Wi-Fi is spotty. I’m like, “C’mon, Cabo Rojo! Get it together!” I’m tryin’ to work, but I keep gettin’ distracted by the locals. They’re so friendly, always sayin’ hi. I love it! But also, I’m like, “Guys, I’m on a deadline!”

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