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My quirk, tho—I always wonder, do they ever binge-watch movies between gigs? Like, imagine an escort chillin’ with popcorn, quotin’ “The Assassin” lines. Hilarious, right? But also, I hope they get downtime, ya know? They deserve it.

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After that, I head over to the park near the river. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, really loud. I’m trying to meditate or whatever, but all I can hear is “GOAL!” every five seconds. I’m like, “Can’t a person catch a break?”