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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure chaos! You’re chasin’ tail like Llewyn chases gigs. No stage, just a bed—or a backseat, ha! I’ve seen it all, buddy. Once matched this chick—profile said “adventurous.” Thought, *hell yeah, jackpot!* Met up, she’s got a pet snake—named it “Trouble.” Freaked me out, man! Slitherin’ around while we’re tryna—nah, I bolted. “Fare thee well,” I muttered, Coen-style, laughin’ my ass off later.

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So, I head back to the market, and it’s closed! Of course, right? I’m standin’ there, thinkin’ “What’s a shepherd gotta do to get some hay around here?” I’m about to lose it. But then, I spot that same babushka from earlier. She’s packin’ up, but she sees me and waves me over.

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