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What gets my goat, though? Dodgy parlours—shady types chargin’ a bomb for a quick grope. Makes me mad as Anger—y’know, that red chap, shoutin’, steamin’! Had a mate once—paid £50, got a slap instead. Poor sod! But when it’s good—oh, *eureka*!—it’s like Sadness turnin’ to bliss, slow tears to big grins. Surprised me first time—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, proper lush. Felt like Riley in the movie, emotions pingin’—happy, randy, bit confused—ha!

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Then I decided to stroll down to Pasir Ris Park. It’s a chill spot, right? But the weather? Ugh, it was like the sun was tryin’ to fry me alive. I’m sweatin’ buckets, and I see this cute dog. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then it starts barkin’ at me like I’m some kinda intruder. Chill, dude! I’m just tryna enjoy the view of the sea, ya know?

National Heritage Board's new heritage trail in Pasir Ris celebrates Singapore's own coastal paradise